February 2012
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When I'm bored I like to write the word "bored"...
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I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people during the sinking of the ship to help with the 3D experience
I’ve just found out that the book I’m reviewing - the author is a professor at my university. I bet you any fucking money he will mark my essay and look at the critiques of the book and be like “you stupid little bitch, have an E!” and I’ll be like “omg but your scottish humour made me laugh at some parts, you intellectual beast” and I’ll still get...
I love how every single time there is an assignment due in, me and Hannah are on Facebook chat at 2am talking about how we haven’t done it and how tragic our lives are.
And even though we have weeks and weeks to do essays, we still insist on doing them the night before.
Epic.
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me: did it hurt?
person: what
me: when you blew through the earth, emerging from hell
person:
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Anonymous asked: Anyone from History : One of the best musician : Rob Lee.
Who Would You Ship Me With?
Anyone from my fandoms
Anyone from Tumblr
Anyone from History
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LIVERRRPEWWWWWWWWWWL~~~~~~~~~~~
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Remember the days I socialized and had sex?
No, neither do I.
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“OMG GUYS. Juliroberts tweet, so deadly serious. Dom IN SIDE PROJECT?! DA FUQ?!...”
– Muser. (via igaveyoubackyourpower)
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oursundaysmile asked: I love your blog - your text posts are hilarious :P
So tonight we can take away:
I fancy people lions
I find a ginger Peter Andre arousing
I witnessed a vicious bee attack
I fell down a mountain
I may or may not of pissed myself when I was 9
I witnessed cow rape
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Last story from that fucking horrific school trip:
When we went there, there was an old story about an old sailor who haunted the halls I was staying in. I don’t know how the fuck there was an old sailor because we were in the middle of the countryside… Anyway, this old man was named ‘Peg Leg’ and his named was plastered all over the walls.
One night I got up to take a piss but the toilets were upstairs, so as I was...
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This one time...
I went away on a school trip to some place in Wales and I had to climb up a mountain. I was already fuming because I had a crush on the head master and he shared his flask of tea with the deaf girl (the little lucky fuck) and I was in a mood so I was legit last up this fucking mountain - then on the way down it I tripped over a bush and tumbled pretty much the entire way down in all the heather...
Anonymous asked: Please, I beg - never stop doing text posts. You are HILARIOUS and I absolutely adore your blog!
To clarify: I fancy them as people lions, not because they are lions. I’m not ~sexually~ attracted to them. It’s illegal to want a lion to plow you, Jesus.