• Jennifer Lawrence: I love food. I'm all about food. I'm not like your typical hollywood female. Skinny? Vogue? I think I've heard of it. I don't know what couture is. Where's the food? Did I mention I love food? Make up? No I don't care about what I look like. Dior? Couture? What? I'm so confused. Where am I? Is there food here. Wait did I tell you guys I love to eat and am the opposite of all of hollywood's leading women? I'm so clumsy. I'm so atypical. I eat a lot. No dieting. I like to eat.
• ALL OF US: We know

pruderanch:

People who are so rude to everybody and still have a shitload of friends

disgustinghuman:

Good morning
I actually just shit myself

selodor:

so my mom bought some crab and she wasn’t ready to cook them yet

so i put them on the ground and yelled “BE FREE MY FELLOW CRUSTACEANS.” and they raised their claws like this

I AM THE CRAB LORD

jesuschristvevo:

there are 10 year olds with the iphone 5 and my parents wont even buy me mcdonalds

• dumbledore: sit down you little fucks i ain't done yet
• dumbledore: to hermione granger thank fuck you read books or else these two dipshits would be dead by now here have 50 points or something
• dumbledore: to ron weasley for being an awesome chess player here bro let's fist bump you a little smart ginger 50 points for you too
• dumbledore: next for harry potter cuz i know i'm only breeding you to die and i feel bad bro here have 50 points sorry about your shitty life xoxo
• dumbledore: and neville here have like 10 points cause i hate slytherin and i need an excuse for gryffindor to win okay dumbledore out